Just over a month ago, I announced that I was going to go out and have the mother of all celebrations for my fortieth birthday. For a number of reasons, some of which were beyond my control, the shindig didn't eventuate, and my best mate has been at me to reschedule ever since. Well, thanks to her incessant pleading/nagging/threats of bodily harm, I finally gave in. Next Saturday, we are hitting the Irish pubs of Melbourne for a night of Bailey's, Boys and Bad Karaoke - but my chronic shyness has had a major resurgence of late, and is threatening to put the kibosh on all but two of these activities. Fortunately, my best mate is the most stubborn, bull-headed woman in the universe, and will have none of my refusals or excuses this time around. She told me that my inability to initiate conversation with men, (while sober), could be solved by the implementation of a time-honoured practice that has been used the world over since social interaction began all those years ago - you know, before women waxed their legs.
'All you need is a really great line, delivered in just the right way. Men do it all the time. It can't be that hard.'
So sayeth the tall, gorgeous, blue-eyed Rachel McAdams lookalike who has never had to approach a man in her life. Still, a conversation starter might not be a bad idea, and I think I've come up with a good one: I'm going to tell them about the blog!
It might sound crazy to try to capture the attention of potential suitors by telling them that if we do decide to take things further, thousands of other people will be reading all about it. Well, not ALL of it - I'm not angling for an HBO series. I do have to wonder about the types of men this approach would attract. I mean, do I really want to share physical space with a guy who would read my blog the following week, eagerly searching for a mention of himself like he was trying out for a football team? (And yes, I do know what that analogy suggests - shut up). Some guys would understandably be put off by it, particularly if they had never actually read the blog. For all they know, it could be a performance review, (something I would NEVER partake in, unless I was assessing my own talents, or lack thereof). Everyone I've told about this, which no doubt now includes you, thinks it's insane and, you know what I say to that?
Why? Because it's a compliment. It takes bravery to put ones self out there and do the crazy thing, and if you guys think that much of me, then I must be a lot gutsier than I thought I was.
Or just crazy.
Time will tell.
*Note: I just realised that the phrase 'Take things further' may be misconstrued as code for 'Engage in non-committal carnal festivities.' This was not my intention. At least at the time of writing.