Move over, A Current Affair! Throw yourself under a bus, (I'm begging you), Today Tonight! To make up for my failure to post last week, I decided to go all out with this make-up post and conduct a vox populi, of sorts. Well, in this case the 'General Public' was the five single over thirty year-old's I managed to find at my local shopping centre who were willing to voice their opinions on dating with me. Just like a younger, less vitriolic Barbara Walters, I arrived at my chosen venue bright and early, material and sound recording device, (i.e. my rather battered pink iPod), at the ready. I practically had to beg to get anyone to open up but once they did, I hit them with the following five questions. Enjoy!
WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE STILL SINGLE?
Tom, 37 - Because women are too bloody fussy! (You know Tom, maybe we are. Who says intelligence, character and a post secondary school level vocabulary are important in a life partner?)
Maria, 42 - Because there aren't any good men left and the ones that are are gay!
Melissa, 41 - I'm too fussy. And most of the good guys are gay.
Sheridan, 39 - Because my mother interrogates every guy I go out with and scares them off!
Helen, 41 - No good guys left. (I absolutely refuse to believe that.)
*Note to self: must track Sheridan down to discuss starting a support group.
WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WITH KIDS?
Tom - Yeah. As long as she didn't expect me to be a father to them. Unless they were brats. (Oh Tom; I don't think any woman in her right mind would expect you to help raise her offspring.)
Maria - My family probably wouldn't like it, but I might. Depends how many!
Melissa - Not if they were teenagers; I can't handle teenagers. (Didn't have the heart to tell Melissa that baby's and toddlers do, god willing, eventually become teenagers).
Sheridan - I've got two of my own, so it wouldn't bother me.
Helen - Yeah. I love kids.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT INTERNET DATING?
Tom - It's a bit of fun. I've been out with a few girls on one site. Nothing yet. Like I said, they're too fussy.
Maria - I'm always on dating sites. I've been out with a lot of guys through those. Most of them only want one thing, but sometimes you meet someone nice.
Melissa - Don't go on them! I went out on one date with a guy, and he kept calling me for months afterwards. I ignored his calls and didn't ring back but he wouldn't give up! (Might I suggest communicating your disinterest? It's a viable option unless you prefer sleeping with a baseball bat under your pillow).
Sheridan - They're okay as a last resort, but most of the people on those sites are just looking for sex. It smacks of desperation to me. (I second that emotion!)
Helen - I've used them a few times. You see some weirdos on there, but I've gotten a few free dinners out of them! (McDonald's or KFC?)
WHAT'S THE WORST THING ABOUT BEING SINGLE AT OUR AGE?
Tom - Gets a bit lonely sometimes. And I can't cook to save myself! (There we are, ladies; the way to Tom's heart is his stomach. Run down to your local TAFE college and sign up for cooking lessons, post haste!)
Maria - Your family thinks there's something wrong with you!
Melissa - It's hard to find guys who are available.
Sheridan - I don't think it is the worst thing in the world. I've had my kids, so I'm in no rush to get married and start a family. That's the reason most people our age are in such a rush to meet someone.
Helen - People think you're either a bitch or you're gay. (Is anyone else seeing a pattern here?)
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SET UP?
Tom - No. I wish someone would, though. What are you doing on the weekend? (At this point, your humble reporter thanked Tom for his help, avoiding eye contact, and scanned the immediate area for security guards).
Maria - Once. Never again! My boss set me up with his cousin and he told me he was tall and good looking and when he showed up, he was shorter than me and had a beard! (There's a reason they call them 'Blind' dates.)
Melissa - Never. No thanks.
Sheridan - Quite a few times by my friends. They're hopeless at picking my type! (Sheridan then elaborated and said that, like me, she prefers her men to have souls and at least a double digit i.q.).
Showing posts with label dating with kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating with kids. Show all posts
Thursday, 10 May 2012
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
A conversation
My son came to me the other day and made a startling confession.
'I don't want you to ever have a boyfriend, Mum.'
G is not one for pouring his heart out all that often, so I knew that it had taken a lot for him to admit this to me. I also knew that if I wanted to delve any deeper into the issue, I would need to approach it very gingerly, because if he were to realise that I was questioning him, he would see it as an interrogation. I would then loose his trust, and he would clam up altogether. I even left him standing, because an invitation to sit down would mean one thing to him and one thing only: a Mum Talk. Barely looking up from my laptop, I began my investigation.
'How come, Hun?'
He shrugged and looked at his feet. This one was going to be a revelation.
'Because you're my mum. If I saw you doing all that lovey-dovey stuff, it'd make me uncomfortable.'
Big shocker there; no kid wants to see his mum kissing any bloke other than his dad. I looked at him a bit longer before I resumed pretending to work.
'I'd never do anything that made you uncomfortable, babe. If and when I do get a boyfriend, I promise there will be no canoodling in front of you.'
He was silent for a few minutes. Percolating things.
'Mum?'
'Yeah, Hun?'
'It isn't just that that bothers me,' he said as he came over and sat next to me on the couch.
I closed the lid to the laptop and steadied myself. He had been the only man in my life for the better part of thirteen years, so the thought of his mum loving anyone other than him must have been too terrifying for words until now. He was always there for me with an inappropriate joke when I was having one of my down days. He was always the first person to kiss me good morning and the last person to kiss me goodnight. He was the person on whom I could always count for unconditional love. I, in turn, was the person who knew him better than he knew himself. The person who would drop everything at a moment's notice to help him with his homework. The person who put his needs and wants above anybody Else's. His brow was furrowed with concentration; I could practically hear him mulling it all over.
If I fell in love, everything would change; our television viewing habits, our living arrangements, and, most earth shatteringly, he would loose his position as number one guy in the family. He had been storing this stuff for years, filling the shelves of his mind with angst and insecurity. He was about to let it all out, clean house as it were, and I was the vessel into which he was going to pour everything. Oh yes, I had been preparing for this day for some time. I was ready for the angry tears, the wails of indignation. As a mother, this was my time to shine.
'Baby, you know I could never love anyone as much as I love you, and that is never going to change. The love between a mother and a child is different to the love between a man and a woman. You know that, right? I will always be there for you, boyfriend or no boyfriend, and if he doesn't understand that, then I won't make him a part of our lives.'
For a moment, he just stared at me. Foolishly, I took his look of incredulity as confirmation that I'd made a connection. My little boy had reached out to me in a time of personal crisis, and I pulled him up from the depths of despair. Angelina Jolie might have half a football team for a family, but she had nothing on me. I was Super Mum!
'You're too old to have a boyfriend! If my friends at school saw you, I'd die!'
All lesser beings bow before me.
'I don't want you to ever have a boyfriend, Mum.'
G is not one for pouring his heart out all that often, so I knew that it had taken a lot for him to admit this to me. I also knew that if I wanted to delve any deeper into the issue, I would need to approach it very gingerly, because if he were to realise that I was questioning him, he would see it as an interrogation. I would then loose his trust, and he would clam up altogether. I even left him standing, because an invitation to sit down would mean one thing to him and one thing only: a Mum Talk. Barely looking up from my laptop, I began my investigation.
'How come, Hun?'
He shrugged and looked at his feet. This one was going to be a revelation.
'Because you're my mum. If I saw you doing all that lovey-dovey stuff, it'd make me uncomfortable.'
Big shocker there; no kid wants to see his mum kissing any bloke other than his dad. I looked at him a bit longer before I resumed pretending to work.
'I'd never do anything that made you uncomfortable, babe. If and when I do get a boyfriend, I promise there will be no canoodling in front of you.'
He was silent for a few minutes. Percolating things.
'Mum?'
'Yeah, Hun?'
'It isn't just that that bothers me,' he said as he came over and sat next to me on the couch.
I closed the lid to the laptop and steadied myself. He had been the only man in my life for the better part of thirteen years, so the thought of his mum loving anyone other than him must have been too terrifying for words until now. He was always there for me with an inappropriate joke when I was having one of my down days. He was always the first person to kiss me good morning and the last person to kiss me goodnight. He was the person on whom I could always count for unconditional love. I, in turn, was the person who knew him better than he knew himself. The person who would drop everything at a moment's notice to help him with his homework. The person who put his needs and wants above anybody Else's. His brow was furrowed with concentration; I could practically hear him mulling it all over.
If I fell in love, everything would change; our television viewing habits, our living arrangements, and, most earth shatteringly, he would loose his position as number one guy in the family. He had been storing this stuff for years, filling the shelves of his mind with angst and insecurity. He was about to let it all out, clean house as it were, and I was the vessel into which he was going to pour everything. Oh yes, I had been preparing for this day for some time. I was ready for the angry tears, the wails of indignation. As a mother, this was my time to shine.
'Baby, you know I could never love anyone as much as I love you, and that is never going to change. The love between a mother and a child is different to the love between a man and a woman. You know that, right? I will always be there for you, boyfriend or no boyfriend, and if he doesn't understand that, then I won't make him a part of our lives.'
For a moment, he just stared at me. Foolishly, I took his look of incredulity as confirmation that I'd made a connection. My little boy had reached out to me in a time of personal crisis, and I pulled him up from the depths of despair. Angelina Jolie might have half a football team for a family, but she had nothing on me. I was Super Mum!
'You're too old to have a boyfriend! If my friends at school saw you, I'd die!'
All lesser beings bow before me.
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