Tuesday, 8 November 2011

The boyfriend interview

Wouldn't it be great if you could approach dating like a job interview?  Imagine for a moment that you could sit all the potentials for the position of, (pardon my crappy hallmark moment here) 'Keeper of your heart' (thank you), in a waiting room and grill them one by one on their qualifications?  How much easier would it be to go into a relationship with someone with your arms and your eyes wide open?  What kinds of questions would you ask to sort the dudes from the duds?

*Note:  As with 98.9% of my posts, the following is not to be taken entirely seriously...I came up with this post in the shower this morning.

1.  What's your relationship with your mother like?  Freudian, I know, but you really can tell a lot about a guy by how close he is to the most (soon to be second most) important woman in his life.  If he has a picture of her in his wallet, it's a good indicator that he was raised a gentleman.  If he constantly refers to her as 'Mother' rather than 'Mum', becomes visibly shaken at the mention of her name, or says things like 'Every boy needs his mother,' run.

2.  How long was your last relationship?  If he tells you how many years he was with his last partner and leaves it that, not a drama.  If he calls her the love of his life, recounts every significant moment of their time together in date order, or says something like 'She really broke my heart, but I'm over it now; I've got you!' carefully stash your letter opener in a drawer.

3.  What's your idea of a perfect date?  This is an invitation for him not only to show you his interests, but also his motivation.  Interest wise, pretty much anything is acceptable, provided it is something you are actually interested in.  If he tells you it's a fun place, it's supposed to be a good movie, or he hears the food's incredible, perfect.  If he refuses to divulge where he's taking you, says 'It's gonna be a big surprise, hey,' or refers to your upcoming meeting as 'Our Hot Date,' hang up and change your phone number post haste.

4.  What are your best qualities?  Trite, yes, but revealing nonetheless.  As with a job interview, the more detailed his answer to this question, the better.  If he uses well-worn responses like 'I'm sensitive,' 'I'm caring,' 'I'm down to earth,' or 'I have a good sense of humour,' and offers no evidence to back them up, refer him to Oasis Active or Match.com.    

5.  Describe yourself.  See above.

6.  What do you look for in a girlfriend?  This can go one of two ways; either he'll be balls-out honest with you (in which case you'll get the picture very quickly, pretty or not), or he'll take the politician's approach.  If he takes the first tack and says things like: 'Someone who's not gonna try to run my life; I hate that,' or 'Someone who'll take care of me,' chances are he has unresolved issues with his ex, or his mother, or both...*shudder.  If he dances around the question, revealing nothing at all with responses such as: 'Someone to have fun times with,' and 'A real woman,' he is in fact telling you everything you need to know.

Those were the most I was able to come up with before the water went cold, so how about you?  Have you asked someone questions like these and gotten some eye-opening responses?  What questions would you ask if you could?  Let me know in the comments, or hit me up in any of the ways mentioned at the top of the page; I'm dying to hear!

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